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Tuesday, March 28, 2006Y

current music : luxurious, gwen stefanie

"i feel so nice today.. today i went out to eat ice cream and suddenly got 1 cat come to me..asking me *can i have a conettoo pls?*.then i give the cat a kick at the ass there..then suddenly the mother of the cat ahhh..come to my shoe then take of my shoe laces..i damn angry lo..but nvm la..cat mah..animal we must love 1..ok la..today thats the only thing happen in my life..thank you so much" (not mine.. its from some annoying gay lou *ignore* :p )

Now i cant never accpect his nag. whenever he nags i will get really upset. i recalled some frigging incident. This happened many many years back when i was still young (primary) it happened to have this small burned matches on top of the plastic roof and it was realised by mom in the morning. Without investigating how does this match falls on the the roof, I was screwed for NUTS for the whole damn morning. I remember a big slap on my cheek and me crying like nobody's business. She yelled ans scolded me saying that i dont admit what i've done. Very irresponsible. What the hell!!?? she has no prove! okay, there i was scolded him very loudly. me then went up to the car getting ready to head to school crying all the way even when i was told to shut the **** up. Before i left the car he lifted his hand on my cheek saying sorry. Because i was still young having those childish atittute i walked away angryly slamming the car door.

Another time was when he bought some liquor back i forget what really happen i think that its like this. I tried to help him arrange this small small decoration liqour bottles in the cabinet then i was disturbed by brother and inthe end i get the scolding by him. He yelled reallly REALLY loud at me. I was of course scared then i ran back to my room putting my head under the pillow crying. Mom told him that i was trying to help. He then came to my room and pet me on my head apologizing. that time granny was there as well. She kept asking em to forgive him. I gave him a smile as "apologize accpeted"

3rd case was when i started working in form 3. I am the first child of this family coming out to work and earn my own money. Yes to them its just a small amount but to me, i cherish every single cents. Nevermind. I intro this job for brother when he returned from aust for certain period. I as a sales have to arrive early, he as a storeroom worker can arrive late. He drove me but he was damn late. I reached that particular place and i got screwed by my manager. NO EXCUSE. thats the only think i remember. After working i complaint it to my parents. in the end i have no idea why so i ahve to get the scoldin when i was not the one that create havoc. I GET THE SCOLDING FOR NOTHING! he again scolded me and i cried the whole damn night. I remember that i skipped my bath and wore back the same uniform back to work. *grosss me*

I think that was the last time he nags / scold / screwed me. Form3. Until today..... when i am reaching 18 i still let this disgraceful things happen. I am certainly wrong this time and i accpeted his advice. He talked really nicely to me but imy heart felt a little aching as he speaks. I never answer him rudely like i did to her. I respected him eversince i was born. thats maybe because i looked like him :p I am ready to get the scolding tomorrow. but i will never let it happen again. (unless i wake up late as usual).

I feel so guitly yet so innocent. guilty is always disappoint them and made them worried for my sake. innocent is whenever i got myself a job i will get the screwing as well. Might as well dont work! ish!

Anyway, i am still young but old enough to think. I am sorry mom, dad. I disappiont you again and again. empty promises were made. but no more! not anymore. because i know i was born to make you proud. One day, i will prove you wrong for saying me no difference as trash. Please wait until the day i success i know you will support me. thanks and...
I LOVE YOU!
(ok, i know its a little "po ma" but thats what my mind wanted to say..please give it a chance to express its feeling)

3:30 PM Photobucket